Many people think that when it comes to self-confidence you either have it or you don’t. That’s not always the case. In fact self-confidence, just like many other skills can be learnt. The more you practice it, the better you become at it. It is almost like an art form, enjoy and have fun with it. It could make such a difference to your life.
Here are some tips to try out and discover what works best for you.
The first step is to start from within. Pay attention to your self-talk, what kind of things do you say to yourself on a regular basis? You may be surprised at the amount of negative thoughts you have about yourself. A lot of these are habits, which can be changed over time. For instance, if you have a habit of putting yourself down or calling yourself names; start by saying something positive about yourself to counter-act the negative remark. The more often you do this, the quicker it will take you to start replacing the negative talk with positive remarks. This will have a great impact on how you start to feel about yourself.
How you stand and walk has a considerable impact on how you are feeling. If you have a habit of slouching and looking down, you are conveying the message that you don’t think you are worthy or good enough. Try standing and walking tall with your shoulders down. This not only makes you look so much better, but you will instantly feel much more positive. When you appear confident, others will perceive you as such and this will help you feel like you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
Try slowing down the pace a little when you speak. This will help you feel in control of your voice. Lowering your voice slightly when you give instructions will help you maintain a position of authority and command others attention towards you and what you have to say. Whereas, if someone speaks fast and at a higher pitch this can have the opposite effect. Try it out and see.
If you have an event coming up, such as public speaking or demonstrating something, it is natural to experience some nerves in the lead up to the event. Rehearsing and practicing beforehand will help you focus on the task at hand. Preparation is key to a successful outcome, it will increase your competence and the process itself can ease away any negative feelings and assure you that you know what you are doing.
Visualise the outcome you want to achieve. This works for many successful people. When you see yourself doing something good and positive in your mind, you are half-way there. Your mind governs your body and actions, so if your mind can see it happening, your actions will follow to make it happen and this will instil self-confidence and help you feel like you can achieve it.
How you present yourself to the world says a lot about how you think of yourself. Invest time in taking care of your appearance. Have a skincare routine, exercise regularly, get your hair done now and again and dress in clothes that make you look good. When you look good, you feel good, the two go hand-in-hand. When you feel good about yourself, you will naturally feel more confident.
This step is the most important of all. Make time to really get to know yourself. Start by writing down 10 things you love about yourself. Focus on your positive qualities and enjoy being you. When you truly love yourself, it becomes easy to show love to others around you; and sharing this great feeling with them and your confidence will soar. Remember, you are lovable, you are loving and you are loved.
By Pamela Sommers
Pamela Sommers is the author of best seller ‘Life Lessons from a 40 something…’ and Founder of SommerSparkle, an award-winning online boutique providing jewellery & accessories for special occasions
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